Masuka doesn’t even need a reason to start talking about his penis area.
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
It’s the oldest story in the world. One day you are 17 and planning for someday, and then quietly and without you really ever noticing, someday is today. Someday is yesterday, and this is your life. We spend so much time wanting, persuing, wishing. But ambition is good; chasing things with integrity is good; dreaming. If you had a friend you knew you’d never see again, what would you say? If you could do one last thing for someone you love, what would it be? Say it, do it. Don’t wait. Nothing lasts forever. Make a wish and place it in your heart, anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good, now believe it can come true. You never know when the next miracle is gonna come through the next memory the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that its right around the corner and you open your mind to the possibility of it, the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you wished for. The world is full of magic you just have to believe in it.
So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it in, with all your heart.
So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it in, with all your heart.
“
| — | One Tree Hill (via be-stupid-be-you) |
United States of Tara
Charmaine: fucking awesome. I finally get out of the house and I'm lost in a corn maze. I mean how is it fucking 80 degrees? is this fun to people? Is anyone having fun?
Random Little Girl: I AM!
Charmaine: It was rhetorical stupid!
